I’m thinking America needs a new scouting organization so I’ll start one called True Scouting.

We won’t care what color or religion you are, whether you’re gay or straight or somewhere in between.

We’ll take kids and teach them civics and civility, hunting and fishing, survival skills and folklore, how to balance their check books and how to crack open a beer with a cigarette lighter. We’ll give them a broad education in the lost arts that men in America have traditionally learned from their elders but are deemed “too dangerous” today to engage in.

And once these kids have obtained a certain level of knowledge, leadership and training, we’ll send them out to kick the asses of all the kids in the BSA.